Hey guys! This morning I want to pass on some advice I recently got from The Big D, that’s my dad! He was in the US Air Force for over 20 years and recently went back to school to get his MBA, and I am very proud of him. The Big D gives great advice, straight from the hip; it’s not always going to be what you want to hear, but it’s the truth and I tend to follow it…sooner or later (LOL). So I had to call the Big D because of some work stuff and I wanted to pass along 5 pieces of advice he told me.
- Learn to leave your emotions at the door, it’s not personal: I’d like to think I am usually very good about this, but I guess I’m not But I do agree, if you can find a way to separate your emotion from any work situation you will see the picture much clearer and be able to make better decisions.
- Don’t worry about the next person, at the end of the day you are in charge of your destiny: I found myself getting caught up with what someone else was doing and when I was whining to the Big D, he stopped me short and said, “muppet, why are you worried about that person? They aren’t worried about you, worry abut yourself: why are you there? What are you trying to achieve?!” (yes my dad calls me “muppet”, say something about it. I dare you.). And he’s right, the energy we spend worrying about others can be put to greater use working on ourselves. Just think about it, if for every minute you spent looking at your neighbor, you instead spent it on personal growth, how closer would you be to your goals? I had to check myself and remember why I am where I am and remember what I’m trying to get out of it.
- Learn how to talk to others: I’m guilt of becoming defensive when I think something wrong is taking place; and trust me, it has gotten me in trouble! We won’t always agree with others, what they say or what actions they take, but we can control our reactions. If someone says something you don’t like then a simple, “I will take that into consideration” or “I respect your opinion, however I have to disagree because…”will suffice and NEVER CUT THEM OFF! It can be seen as super-defensive and catty.
- Don’t play the victim, realize the part you play in situations: I used to be guilty of this when I was in school; I was never wrong and everybody was just picking on me. Now that I’m an adult and my job and sustenance depend on my decisions, I need to be able to look at any situation and say, “okay, how did I create this and how can I fix it?” it doesn’t help me to throw my hands up (I’m not Taio Cruz, after all) and blame others. I need to take responsibility and then figure out what changes I can make to fix it.
- Don’ EVER have angry discussions: If a situation arises where you feel like you have been wronged or didn’t like the way someone spoke to you or whatever the situation then don’t address it right then and there; it will only make you bad. If you try to address it in front of others when you’re angry you can come across as defensive, unprofessional or hard to work with. The best way to deal with this is to go back to your office or cubicle and cool down for a minute and then send that person an e-mail asking to speak with them at a later about the situation, bring in a moderator if necessary, and then have your say. You will save face with others and still remain professional.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this advice from the Big D and that you can use it if you get into a situation that calls for them. Enjoy the rest of the week and Happy Hump Day!
P.S. Please check out my latest blog post at Flack Me: Ageism, the Generation Gap, and the Battle for Social Supremacy dealing with all the recent articles on age limits within the social media community!